The Valentine Planet
by NightShade Tears
Summary: "As your valentine, I must offer you a fun-filled, romantic day so… how would you like to visit a planet that is inside out?" What seemed like just another escapade turns a sour turn as the recently regenerated Doctor and Rose find themselves in the middle of an incipient war between worlds. K borderline on T.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor liked early morning noises in the TARDIS. The way the engines were running not-quite-smoothly after a night of hovering, the comfortable silence which fell around the Doctor when he had no need to prove himself clever and be talking out of his elbows, so he could just sit down and think. More than anything, he liked the sound of yawning and stretching; it meant that Rose was awake.

"Good morning, Doctor," she said sleepily, entering the TARDIS's console room.

"Morning, Rose!" he greeted, cheery as ever, jumping from this control to that. Rose recognized his excitement as a prelude to another trip somewhere.

"Where are we going, Doctor?" she asked.

"Home," he replied simply, pulling a lever here, pressing buttons there.

"Home? As in London?" she wondered. The Doctor nodded. "Why?"

"I thought you might want to go home for a while. To celebrate," he clarified.

"Celebrate what?" Rose asked. The Doctor stopped moving for a while to look at her. She couldn't quite pinpoint his expression.

"Valentine's Day, of course. In your timeline, it must be somewhere around mid-February, so I thought maybe you would want to go back and take someone out for chocolate and coffee and whatever it is that is so attractive of hotel rooms…" he explained.

Rose giggled. "You want chocolate and coffee and hotel rooms?"

The Doctor frowned in confusion. "Not me. I thought maybe Mickey or…"

"Mickey and I are not… like that anymore," she replied, quietly wondering how her ex-boyfriend was doing.

"So you don't have a valentine?" the Doctor asked, cocking his head to the side. When Rose shook her head, his frown grew more pronounced. "That's not right. Every pretty girl should have a valentine."

"Is that an offer, Doctor?" she laughed.

"If you want to," he answered, shrugging.

"Okay," she said. "You can be my valentine, then."

"Great! As your valentine, I must offer you a fun-filled, romantic day so… how would you like to visit a planet that is inside out?"

"Inside out?"

"Yes. It's a lot like Earth, except that everything humans would consider precious –like diamonds and gold- are on the surface, and the forests and lakes and towns are inside the planet. It's got a massive touristic appeal, and at this time of year, their sun turns pink," he said, spouting out facts like an encyclopaedia, as excitedly as a child.

Rose laughed. "Sounds good to me!"

The Doctor smiled, and after pulling a lever on the console, they were zooming off into the time vortex. Before long, the familiar whirring sound announced their arrival.

"Say, Doctor, what's the name of this planet again?" she asked. The Doctor pulled a few more levers to park the TARDIS, his eyebrows fusing together again.

"Umm, I…" he started. "I can't really tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because the planet's name can't be pronounced unless you kiss someone."

"Oh."

"On the lips."

"Oh!"

"With tongue."

"Oh…" Rose bit the inside of her cheek, embarrassment making her blush. She felt better at once when she saw that the Doctor, too, was blushing. "We've arrived, then?" she asked.

"Yes, yes," he replied, thankful for the quick topic change. He strode over to the door, holding it open for Rose. "Ladies first."

Rose stepped out of the TARDIS. The beauty of the planet left her breathless.


	2. Chapter 2

The surface was mostly pale pink and white quartz, with little veins of gold crisscrossing over the rock like tiny rivers. Flowerlike clusters of rubies and emeralds and sapphires lay in random patches, strewn around as far as the eye could see. Like the Doctor had promised, the sun shone with pink light, turning the sky a curious shade of salmon.

"It's gorgeous," Rose exclaimed.

"It is, isn't it?" the Doctor told her, placing an arm over her shoulders. They remained like that, on the TARDIS's threshold, for a long minute, taking everything in. Finally, the Doctor offered his hand to Rose. "Come on."

The ground was very hard under their feet. Rose could feel the outline of the stones through the sole of her sneakers. The Doctor guided her to a little path, worn down by the feet (and wheels and tentacles) of many travellers, where the ground felt a lot softer. It glimmered in the pink sunlight, as if it were covered with glitter. Soon they arrived to a white gazebo, decorated with tiny flowers. Underneath it stood a creature, wearing a white tunic, which turned to them and smiled kindly.

"Doctor, Rose. We have been expecting you," it said, blinking its enormous golden eyes. It extended a pastel-pink, three-fingered hand at them, offering each a rose button. They took the flowers, and the creature smiled pleasantly. "If you'd be so kind…"

It turned, obviously wanting them to follow. It began guiding them down a flight of stairs, concealed under a trap door in the gazebo, illuminated by what looked like fireflies in glass spheres.

"How do they know who we are?" Rose whispered to the Doctor, who shrugged.

"I called for reservations earlier," he said simply.

"You did?"

"Yeah."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "You were so not planning to take me here, were you, Doctor?"

"I'll admit it was plan B," he replied, the tips of his ears flushing with colour. Rose chuckled.

They came to a more illuminated area, where more of the creatures were moving about, some carrying stacks of fluffy towels, some juggling as many as five pieces of luggage with practiced dexterity. Long corridors converged in this spot and then became lost in the distance.

"That's new," the Doctor commented, gazing at one of the creature's back.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Last time I came here, they had wings alright, but they were tiny, as if they had strapped a pigeon to their backs. But now…" he trailed off, admiring the magnificent swan-like wings that grew between the shoulder blades of the creature. "They've evolved."

"Last time?" Rose inquired. "You've come here before?"

"Yeah," the Doctor replied. "Long time ago, before the planet became the touristic spot of choice in this side of the galaxy. Well, this galaxy, at least."

Rose had no opportunity to answer. The creature that had led them here came back, two tall glasses of some bright golden liquid in one hand, a key engraved with the number 23 dangling from the other.

"You will find that your room is ready for immediate usage. However, should you need anything, please do not hesitate to call the front desk and ask for Yahma," the creature motioned to itself. "I will be more than happy to assist you."

"Thanks, Yahma!" the Doctor chirped, taking the key and one of the drinks from the creature. Rose took the other one. The glass felt warm to touch, but it had little droplets of water coating its surface, suggesting it was really cold. It was an odd contradiction, and a very sweet one too.

"Your room is down the hall to the left. We hope you enjoy your stay at the Valentine planet," Yahma said with a little bow. The Doctor returned it before taking Rose's free hand. He led her down the corridor the creature had pointed them to.

"The Valentine planet, Doctor?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrows at the man.

"When the planet went touristic, the inhabitants chose to give it a nickname that didn't require a French kiss as part of the welcoming speech," he said as they arrived at room 23.

"I see how that's practical. Complaints for assault every five minutes would be bad for business," Rose mused. The Doctor flashed a brief smirk at her, and then opened the door. Again, he let Rose go first.

The suite was all white and gold. The strange sunlight filtering through the window tinted everything with a dreamy, hazy pink shade. The floor was covered with a fluffy looking rug, interwoven with gold threads. A polished vanity mirror to the right doubled the view of an impeccably made bed. Twin tables with silver candle holders flanked the bed. A desk stood beneath the window. A half open door revealed what promised to be the best equipped, most luxurious bathroom Rose had ever seen.

"Doctor, why did you reserve the royal honeymoon suite?" Rose wondered as she walked around the room, afraid to touch anything lest it shatter like a dream.

"This is a regular room, Rose," the Doctor replied. "The Valentines are extremely generous with guests."

"If this is a regular room, then why does this say 'Congratulations, Newlyweds'?" she countered, pointing to a folded card on top of the bed.

The Doctor quickly snatched it up and tucked it away into his coat. "They must've assumed we were…" he cleared his throat. "This planet is, after all, famous amongst honeymooners."

Rose sat down on the bed and ran a hand through the gold threaded sheets. "I wonder why…" she commented, her sarcasm not quite making it to the surface. The Doctor laughed under his breath, still standing in the doorway.

"Liking it so far?" he asked.

"You bet!" Rose replied cheerily, looking at the man. "But I'm dying to see the rest of the planet."

"And you shall!" he said, bounding across the room in three long strides. He took a card from the desk beneath the window and held it out to Rose.

"The Valentine Council extends an invitation to the Doctor and Rose Tyler to join in tonight's celebration of Lovers' Day," Rose read. "Complimentary drinks and dinner will be served in the pavilion, right on time to watch the most romantic sunset in this side of the galaxy," Rose looked up. "And you were still going to let me go back home for coffee and a movie with some bloke?"

"I want you to enjoy yourself," the Doctor said, shrugging. "Even if it was on Earth, or with someone else, or on Earth with someone else."

"I'd have to be mad to change this," she motioned towards the window, through which the crystal plains could be admired, "for a regular old date."

"And you haven't seen anything yet," he countered excitedly, his adventurous side coming forth once more. "Come on, we've got a lot of planet to explore!"


	3. Chapter 3

The interior of the planet was every bit as beautiful as the outside, mainly because it was so impossible. After an hour-long descent in a five-by-four, daintily adorned elevator –during which Rose couldn't help but notice how close to her the Doctor was standing-, they exited into a little underground park, lush and green. Trees bordered the pathways, and carefully trimmed flowerbeds stood guard next to white wooden benches, upon which several creatures of all kinds stretched leisurely. Most hanged around in couples, though a few sat by themselves, staring up into the cave's ceiling, which was mostly covered in wild vines.

More of the native creatures –Valentines, as the Doctor called them-, paraded about with wary, vigilant looks.

"They are very protective of their flora around here," the Doctor explained after a large Valentine gave Rose a nasty glare. "You can take a bucketful of rubies from the surface and they won't bat an eye, but they might kick you out of the planet if you so much as think of plucking a flower without permission."

"Extreme," Rose commented.

"Nah," he replied. "It took them a couple of centuries to get everything to grow underground. If they're not careful, they could run out of food, and they have guests to look after. The ecosystem is growing, but it might be a few more decades before they can spare a couple of plants."

"Why is the entrance to the hotel decorated with flowers, then?" Rose challenged.

"Think of it as an Earth lobby made of marble," the Doctor answered. "It's expensive, but it's pretty, and you'd like your guests to have pretty things to look at in your hotel."

Rose had to lower her eyes. The Doctor's eyes as he spoke to her of pretty things were making her feel strange. Not bad, of course, but… different.

They took their time strolling through the park. The Doctor amused Rose with stories about different planets, often triggered by one of the other guests. Everywhere, alien couples enjoyed their loved ones' company. Intimacy was universal, as was love. The feeling was palpable, almost breathable in the air. Rose could swear that the reason why Valentine apples (costing the equivalent of five quid each) tasted so sweet was because they were infused with care.

The last stop of the day was by a huge lake, at the edge of which stood a pier. A few small boats floated near the shore, carrying enamoured couples. A huge crowd had gathered near a big merchant vessel. It was stacked with fruit and vegetables and barrels of water. The crowd seemed to be chanting at the ship.

"You see, this pier is where they commerce with other planets," the Doctor said, noticing Rose's interest. "Every time the Valentines receive or send out anything perishable, they pray to their goddess, so that she will protect the precious cargo. I think that this particular load is leaving port."

Indeed, the ship started moving away from the shore. When it reached the middle of the lake, there was a flash of golden light, and the ship disappeared. Even the Doctor looked impressed.

"What was that?" Rose asked.

"A very neat trick, that's what," he said, eyebrows shooting upwards. He glanced at his wristwatch. "Come on. Let's go grab a good spot to watch the sunset in. It can get worse than the Sakura festival in Japan."


	4. Chapter 4

"Something's off…" the Doctor commented as the sky turned from pale pink to fiery sunset orange. His eyes began darting around, trying to pinpoint exactly what it was that was wrong, other than the fact that they were alone in the designated party area.

"How can anything be off?" Rose asked, still in awe at the gorgeous sight of the sinking sun. "Just look at that! Sunset over the crystal plains, the gold rivers shining, the jewels sparkling, only a few clouds in the sky…"

"That's just it, Rose," the Doctor interrupted, jumping to his feet.

"What?" she asked, his tone immediately making her anxious.

"This whole planet is inside out. All water reservoirs are under the surface."

"So?"

"If all the water is inside the planet, how can there be clouds here?" he murmured, glancing up at the sky. Rose looked up too.

Suddenly, an alarm blared from somewhere deep within the hotel. A recording said, with eerie out-of-place calmness, that all guests were to return to their rooms at once. The clouds above appeared closer and closer with each passing second; soon Rose could see they were not clouds at all. They were wings.

"That's bad news," the Doctor exclaimed, taking Rose's hand. "Come on!"

They ran towards the hotel entrance, from which several lines of Valentines were pouring out, armed with weapons crafted of gems. They would've been beautiful, had they not been so dangerous looking. The Doctor tried to make path for them to go through. When they managed to reach the door, it was already closed and sealed.

"Open the door!" he yelled. A nearby soldier heard him.

"Oh, my… Captain Yahma, we've got civilians here!" it called. The familiar figure of Yahma flew to them.

"Doctor! Rose! You mustn't be here! There will be a battle soon!" Yahma exclaimed, wings fluttering in agitation.

"We know! We were at the celebration place a bit early and we couldn't get through to the door," the Doctor explained quickly. "Please tell them to let us in."

"Can't do that now," Yahma responded, shaking her head. "The enemy is much too close. Just stay behind us and try to take cover. We expect this to be over quickly."

"Captain Yahma!" someone in the front called; their guide excused herself with a military bow, very different from her initial courtesy. The soldiers closed ranks in front of them. The Doctor stood in front of Rose as if to protect her.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I wanted you to enjoy yourself, I swear."

"It's not your fault," she answered, laying her head on his shoulder.

"But what I don't understand is who would have any sort of quarrel with these people," the Doctor mused, partly to himself. After a second's hesitation, his eyes went very wide in realization.

"Doctor?"

"The Unvalentines! Of course!" he exclaimed. "Oh, but I thought they were extinct!"

"The Unvalentines?"

"They're creatures from a twin planet. Eons ago, both planets were just one big planet, very much like Earth. There was a series of earthquakes, and the planet split itself in two. Gravity from nearby stars made the planets turn inside out, and the unvalentines' core is not as fruitful as the valentines'," the Doctor explained. "This planet has got forests and sweet water… they got deserts and salt water. I thought they'd died out years ago!"

"They're not really called 'unvalentines', are they?" Rose asked, the first of many questions that came to mind.

"Course not! But their name can't be pronounced unless you get punched in the mouth."

"Oh," Rose muttered, looking up at the incoming army. The new creatures looked a lot like the Valentines, only they were bulkier and their wings were much wider. White salt deposits coated their greyish skin. And there were many of them; unarmed, but with big jaws and a wild light behind their steely eyes.

"How did they even get here?" a soldier wondered nearby, and Rose found herself nodding along. The Doctor frowned in deep concentration.

"Oh… Oh!" he exclaimed suddenly. "Rose, the pier! The Valentines are giving people; of course they'd send some sort of care package to the Unvalentines! And nobody seems to have noticed the clouds up until now… it would be simple enough for one or two of them to go back as stowaways when the merchant boat came back and then go hide in the sky."

"But how can a boat travel between planets?" Rose asked.

"The TARDIS does it all the time!" the Doctor protested.

"That's different. That's the TARDIS. These are… ordinary wooden boats."

"Whatever they are, they can travel between worlds. Oh, this is brilliant!" he said, his eyes sparkling excitedly.

"Doctor, a little perspective here," Rose chastised. "There is a war about to start!"

"I know… yes," he shook his head and became serious again. "We've gotta get back to the TARDIS before it gets ugly."

Rose stared at the Doctor. "Wait… you're not going to stop them?"

"I don't think there is a way of stopping the fight now, Rose," the Doctor answered, pointing at both armies, each readying themselves for the battle. "Not without taking a side. And I don't take sides. It would be unfair."

"Talk to them!" Rose said.

"They won't listen," he insisted, shaking his head. "And I won't risk you being here while there's a war going on. We've got to go."

"And what about all the other guests?"

"The Valentines will protect their guests with their lives. There surely is an evacuation route somewhere," he said offhandedly, craning his neck to see over the soldiers, searching for a way to the TARDIS.

"What if there isn't? Doctor, if you won't take sides, at least help the innocents get out."

The Doctor turned to Rose, looking protectively at her. "Fine. But first I get you to safety."

"By then it might be too late! Come on, Doctor! There must be something you can say to stop this!" Rose begged. The Doctor shook his head. There was tense silence as both armies faced each other, waiting for the other to move.

"I was in the Time War, Rose. It began with a skirmish, pretty much like this one. A friend of mine –a good friend, with good intentions- thought she could talk the fighting parties into peace. They blew her up and fought anyways," he whispered fiercely. Rose clenched her teeth.

"So you'd rather let two civilizations kill each other and a bunch of innocent bystanders?" she asked. The Doctor didn't answer. He wouldn't even look at her. "Fine then. If you're not doing anything, I am."

She shoved through the soldiers before the Doctor could react.

"Rose!" he hissed, attempting to follow her. The soldiers, however, closed ranks and wouldn't budge.

"Sir, you must stay here. It's for your safety," one said.

"What about her?" he asked tersely. But there wasn't much the soldiers could do. Rose was determined bordering on stubborn. Not even an army could stop her from wriggling her way through the crowd and into the clearing between both armies. The unvalentines screeched when they saw her.

"Oi!" she screamed. The unvalentines fell silent. "You stop this right now! I don't know why you want to fight, but you will not do it today."

She turned to the valentines, her voice trembling only slightly. It was a bit unnerving to stand between two armies. "Can't you just talk it out? Surely, you can solve this… whatever this is… without a battle."

Valentines and unvalentines remained quiet, staring at Rose, their shadows becoming elongated in the dying rays of sunlight. In front of the valentines, Yahma shook her head, half in embarrassment, half in anger. What would this child know about the problems that drove two planets to war?

Suddenly, someone from the unvalentine ranks gasped. An incomprehensible mutter quickly spread amongst them, and their expressions changed. From angry and blood-thirsty, they looked awestruck and even a little hopeful. Rose could make out a single word, one that confused her to no end.

"Goddess? What do they mean by goddess?" she asked, turning instinctively to the Doctor. There was no time for an answer, though. In a second, the unvalentines had surrounded her in a flurry of wings and long, grasping limbs. She heard Yahma order the attack, and the Doctor calling her name, but there was nothing she could do to stop whatever was happening.

"Doctor!" she screamed, suddenly feeling as if she were being pulled backwards by some invisible force.

"Rose!" The sound came to her from far away. Very far away, actually. Another planet away.


	5. Chapter 5

"Where have they taken her?" the Doctor asked in a loud voice. None of the soldiers answered. "Where have they taken her?!"

"Back to their planet, most likely," Yahma replied, making her way through the soldiers. She turned to one of them. "Order immediate evacuation and prepare your weapons. I doubt this is the last of the fight."

The soldiers dispersed. One of them opened the hotel door. A dozen frantic guests were instantly surrounding Yahma, who walked past them as if they weren't even there. The Doctor struggled to keep up.

"Why?" he asked. Yahma ignored him, quickly telling the staff to close the pier, nobody in or out of the planet through there. "Why?" he repeated. She turned to him.

"I see in your eyes that you were a soldier once," she replied. "You know the mechanics of war prisoners as well as I do."

"No, she's not just a prisoner. They could've taken any soldier, they could've taken me, but they took her. Why?" he pressed. Yahma stared at him for a long second.

"Come with me," she said at last, guiding him to a smaller, less ornate elevator. It moved a lot faster, too. Within ten minutes –during which a stony silence fell between them- they were at the underground pier. She led him to what appeared to be a wooden cottage, but upon entering was more of a church. There wasn't much inside, just an ocean of flowers placed faithfully under a massive painting. The Doctor gazed at it in awe. The beautiful woman depicted in the picture was uncannily alike to Rose.

"The Goddess," he whispered. Yahma nodded.

"The Good Goddess created the First World for her children, but the process was so tiring that she decided to rest for a moment. Then the Bad God, the jealous, selfish bringer of earthquakes, took his opportunity to try and destroy the Goddess's work. His cataclysms split the planet in half and would've shattered it, but the Goddess woke up just in time. She vanquished the Bad God, yet the damage was done. The Goddess turned the planets inside out next, so that strong minerals would protect her children until they were ready."

"Ready for what?" the Doctor wondered.

"For her return. She was tired, and she couldn't put the planet back together just yet. So she promised that she would come back one day and she would make our planet whole again. In the meantime, she told us to behave and to share, because jealousy and selfishness brought the first cataclysm upon us. As long as we shared what we had, the Bad God would stay away."

"But they're jealous, aren't they?" the Doctor noted, referring to the unvalentines. "They're jealous because they got the arid part of the planet while you got everything. And you just give it away to strangers."

"Guests," Yahma corrected defensively. "And it's not like we don't give them some too. You saw the ship that left today. All that food was for them."

"But it's not enough," the Doctor mused. "Not anymore." Suddenly, his hand clapped around his forehead in a sudden realization. "Of course! They think Rose is the Good Goddess. With her, they can make their planet as good as or even better than this planet! They must think that she can give them enough food to last them for eternity!"

Yahma huffed. "Yeah, well, good for them and good for us. They won't have to live off us and we can use those precious resources for ourselves and our guests."

"Only one problem," he said, shaking his head. "Rose is spectacular and brilliant, but she's not a goddess. And I fear that, once they find that out, they might treat her as any war prisoner." The words spoken out loud filled him with dread. He knew how some races treated prisoners. Sometimes, a captured enemy or even a captured neutral was considered negotiable or even –the Doctor trembled even to think about it- expendable.

Yahma noticed his expression and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do."

The Doctor stared at her darkly. "You can't. But I can. I won't sit around this time. I shouldn't have in the first place." He strode off, heading for the quick elevator.

"Where are you going?" Yahma called out.

"To the Unvalentine Planet!"


	6. Chapter 6

"Seriously? All of time and space, and the one place I need to go to, and you won't take me?" the Doctor yelled in frustration. The TARDIS whirred indignantly, but hopelessly. She just couldn't land on the other planet, so she stayed parked in place.

"I tried to tell you, Doctor," Yahma said as he stalked out of the blue box, shoving the door closed with an angry huff. "They closed off their planet to any visitors a long time ago. We still don't know how they do it, but the only way in or out is through the pier."

"Then take me there, and lend me a boat!" he half-ordered, half-pleaded.

Yahma shook her head. "No can do. We closed the lake entrance. Nobody in or out there while there's a war threat over us."

"Then how am I supposed to get Rose back, eh?" he asked. "I can't leave her there."

Yahma's face hardened. "I'm sorry, Doctor, but you're not using the bridge."

"Bridge?" he mused under his breath. "Bridge… bridge!"

He went back into the TARDIS running, and quickly began manipulating controls. The machine groaned.

"I'm not going to try to enter the planet again," he said. "I know you won't do it. But you can hover over both planets, can't you? Give me a good look at them and anything between them."

As if eager to comply, the TARDIS lurched happily into the vortex, and within seconds it was floating just above the planets. The Doctor let her hover in place and pulled down the screen.

"Wow," he muttered at the picture. Both planets, very much alike from above, were joined by a thick string of bright yellow light. Floating in it were bits and pieces of fruit, fallen from cargo ships that travelled between the planets.

"An energy bridge," the Doctor noted. "Closed off at one side… but we don't need to do it traditionally, do we, old girl?" he spoke to the TARDIS. "We'll just jump right into the middle and cross from there."

The TARDIS wheezed happily, and the Doctor gently led her down to the energy bridge. Almost as soon as they touched the light, the screen flickered, and a face appeared on it.

"Doctor!"

"Rose!"

The man rushed to the screen, gratitude and relief flooding through him. "Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt?"

"I'm alright," she answered. "The unvalentines brought me to their planet."

"I'm coming over to get you," he promised.

"No! As soon as they returned, they set guards at the planet's entrance. They expect someone to come through there. They'll kill anyone who tries. No, I don't want fruit."

"What?" the Doctor asked.

"And no, I am not thirsty."

"What?" he repeated. Then he noticed Rose was not looking at him.

"Rose, who are you talking to?" he asked, mostly to himself. He adjusted the zoom on the screen.

"Oh," he muttered in awe. Rose was sitting on a large marble throne, covered all over with wilting flowers that still retained a bit of beauty despite their dry state. A few unvalentines knelt at her feet, undiluted devotion shining in their dark eyes. They were offering her bowls of slightly mushy fruit, and golden goblets filled with water. They had put a long white tunic over her jeans and t-shirt ensemble, and a crown of woven daisies on her head. She looked very beautiful, and she looked very uncomfortable.

"Now please leave, and don't come in if I'm speaking. I'm not asking you for anything, I am… making a… an incantation to… uh… heal your planet," Rose said to her devotees, who bowed a number of times before finally disappearing. Rose's stance relaxed noticeably.

"Rose Tyler, Goddess of the Unvalentines," the Doctor jived.

"Shut up," she answered. "We've got a problem here."

"You're right," he said, becoming serious again. "We need to get you out before they find out you're…" he lowered his voice, lest someone hear him. "Not a goddess."

"I know that, but they won't let me go easily. They hardly let me stand up at all without offering to carry me so I don't get tired."

"So you can't come to me, and I can't go to you. We'll have to meet halfway," he decided.

"Halfway? Right, because there is a magical bridge between the planets that I can just walk on…" Rose muttered sarcastically.

"Actually, there is a bridge. You can't walk on it, though, and it's not magical… it's more energetical. Is that even a word?"

"What?" Rose exclaimed.

"Energetical," the Doctor repeated. "I'm not sure it's a word that exists."

"No, no… you said there is a bridge. Like an actual interplanetary bridge."

"It's not precisely a bridge. It's residual cataclysmic energy linking the cores of two halves of the same planet," the Doctor explained. "Remember the earthquakes I mentioned? The ones that split the original planet in two?"

Rose nodded.

"Well, an event like that is bound to leave some trace of it behind. Splitting a planet in two requires a lot of energy. These earthquakes were strong enough to leave behind two separate planets, but not strong enough to completely tear them apart. That string of energy holds the Valentines and the Unvalentines together. That's how they send each other things. They sail on the energy with their ships like I sail the vortex with the TARDIS."

"That still doesn't solve our problem, Doctor," Rose interjected before he could continue his dizzying explanation. "I think these guys expect a miracle from me by sunrise. I need to get out of here before that."

The Doctor thought hard for a second. Then his eyes lit up with a brilliant plan.

"And a miracle we shall give them!" he chirped happily, deeply satisfied of his own brilliance. "Rose, I need to ask you… how much power do you have over the unvalentines?"

Rose snorted a brief laugh. "They're willing to do everything I say."

"Brilliant! Then I want you to tell them to gather at the place where they usually receive the boats that the Valentines send. Think you can do that?"

Rose stared at the man like he had gone crazy. Well, crazier.

"I can tell them to…" she said hesitantly.

"Please, Rose. It's important. I don't want there to be any casualties," the Doctor requested seriously.

"What are you possibly planning that may include casualties?" she asked.

"If I can't use the energy bridge to bring you back, then I'm going to make my own bridge. A real one, one that you can actually walk on."

"How?"

"I'm going to reunite two halves and make a whole. It's the spirit of Valentine's Day, if you think about it."

"How?" Rose repeated. The Doctor opened his mouth, no doubt about to spout a long, rambling, scientific explanation. Then he thought better, and he rummaged his pockets for something. He produced a pair of yoyos, and tied both strings together in the middle.

"You keep yoyos in your pockets?" Rose asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"You don't?" he countered. "But keeping toys in my pockets isn't the subject here. Now, imagine that the red yoyo is Valentine Planet, and the blue yoyo is Unvalentine Planet. The string is the bridge. Now, I can't exit or enter any of the two doorways, but I can take the TARDIS to the middle," he demonstrated, pinching the centre of the strings between two fingers. "And if I use the TARDIS to pull the string…"

He pulled, and the yoyos clacked together, their sides chipping slightly where they hit each other.

"Another cataclysm," Rose noted.

"This time, a joining cataclysm," he nodded. "The planets should fuse together upon impact, and you can walk right over."

"The planets should fuse," Rose repeated. "So you're not sure you can do this."

"Of course I'm sure! A hundred per cent sure! Well, ninety per cent… well, eighty-eight per cent. But I'm pretty certain that I can pull this one off."

"And if you don't pull it off?" Rose challenged.

"The potential energies in the planets' cores join the energy of the bridge and I blow up the next five solar systems," he retorted lightly. "But I'm pretty sure that it won't happen. But I do expect there to be a big crash, so I need you to make sure that the Unvalentines clear out before I try anything. I'll do the same with the Valentines here."

Rose considered it. It was a mad plan, but she really did want to get out of the planet. All the attention was making her antsy. "Give me a few hours," she asked.

The Doctor smiled. "That's my brave Rose. I'll call you back when everything's ready. Good luck."


	7. Chapter 7

"Come on, Yahma! It's just for a couple of hours. Minutes, even," the Doctor all but pleaded. Yahma shook her head, watching as the last of the guests left the planet through the emergency exit, which was heavily guarded lest the Unvalentines try to enter through it.

"I told you already, Doctor," she said. "I refuse to conduct an Exodus unless I know why."

"For the greater good! I can stop this war from ever happening," he assured.

"You speak of peace, yet you refuse to tell me what you intend to do. So forgive me if I'm a little reluctant," Yahma replied.

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just… it's complicated."

"Try me," she replied. The Doctor looked at the creature. He nodded.

"I won't give you the long explanation," he said. "Cause it's a bit boring… but what I'm trying to do here is to… fulfil the prophecy. The planets can be joined, and the secret to that is the bridge. I can pull it with my ship," he motioned to the TARDIS. "I can reunite the planets. But I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Hurt during what, exactly?" Yahma asked, but she didn't give the Doctor a chance to respond. She answered herself, a look of understanding shadowing her features. "A reunion of that magnitude would require a great cataclysm, similar to that which made our planet separate in the first place."

The Doctor smiled despite himself. "You're very clever."

"Clever enough to see right through you, Earthquake Bringer," she accused. "You're the Bad God."

"What?" he exhaled in surprise. "Of course I'm not!"

"You speak of causing a cataclysm, one that may destroy our city, our hotel, our way of living. You claim it to be for the greater good, yet earlier you only spoke and cared about your companion. Causing a near apocalyptic event just for the sake of her sounds pretty selfish to me."

"I'm not being selfish here. I'm actually trying to help! And the crash site wouldn't be anywhere near your city. It would be about a hundred miles away," he defended himself.

"Help how?" Yahma interrupted. "By creating an event that will destroy everything we have worked for? Forgive me if I don't believe you or your friend, the supposed goddess."

"The Unvalentines believe in her," he retorted.

"They are uncivilized and willing to believe that anyone with golden hair is the Goddess, but I know better. Our Goddess would stay and help us, not them."

"You see? There's your problem!" the Doctor exclaimed. "You think of this as an 'us against them' issue. You forget that both planets were once joined. When you separated, your quarrels began. If you were to be reunited…"

"We'd fight even more often. Our resources are very limited."

"So are theirs! That's why they attacked you. If you could only learn to share one big planet…"

"We would if it was possible to restore our planet, but it isn't. Once apart, forever apart. There is no way to mend what broke by divine intervention; a big scale clash of planets definitely isn't a solution. It's just a scheme… a ploy devised by the very God who tried to destroy the Goddess's work in the first place." Yahma's eyes bore into the Doctor's, accusative and resentful for generations of myth passed down. "Tell me, Earth Shaker, how long have you been planning this? How did you get out of whatever void our Good Goddess threw you into?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Wow, you really are a stubborn race, aren't you?"

"Guards!" Yahma called. A few soldiers looked over at once. "Seize this man. Destroy the vessel. The Bad God cannot do anything unless he has a physical shape to hold unto."

"Now, now… let's not rush into things," the Doctor said as half a dozen soldiers aimed their lances at him. He moved backwards until his back was to the TARDIS's door, which was locked. "Anytime you want to get us out of here," he whispered to the machine. The doors opened just in time, and he fell through them into the safety of his ship. He heard the Valentines pounding at the wooden exterior.

"Well… that didn't go quite as planned…" he muttered to himself, shifting dials on the console. He guided the TARDIS back again into the place between worlds. The energy from the connection made the screen jump to life, and there was Rose's face again.

"Doctor!" she cried out in delight. "Am I glad to see you again!"

"Me too," he admitted. "Did you manage to do what I told you to do?"

"Yep!" she answered proudly. "One word from the Goddess and they were willing to move to another galaxy. This side of the bridge is safe for connection."

"Yeah, well, this one isn't," he told her. He swiftly recounted last hour's events to Rose, Yahma's reluctance, her disbelief in her but belief that he was the bad god, everything.

"But we can't make the planets crash if there's people on the impact zone," Rose said after he was done.

"I know," he answered, rubbing his hands over his face in anguish. "But they won't listen to me."

"Maybe…" Rose hesitated. "Maybe you need to make them listen."

"What do you mean?" he asked, not liking her tone of voice one bit.

"They already believe you're the bad god, the bringer of earthquakes?"

"Yes…" The Doctor suddenly fell silent, and his expression became grim. He understood what Rose was getting at, even if she was hesitant to say it. "I'll have to become the bad god. If I want to get you back… I will have to be the Earthquake Bringer," he whispered to himself. Rose shifted uncomfortably. She felt terribly guilty for this. If she hadn't stepped between the armies in the first place…

"I'm sorry, Doctor," she told him. "That you have to do this for me."

"Oh, Rose… I'm doing this for myself too. I wouldn't be able to bear losing you."

Both went silent at the sudden declaration. It was there, out in the air, whether they had intended it to escape the safety of their closed lips. Rose looked down and bit her lip. The Doctor was torn between kicking himself internally and feeling proud of himself because he had finally said it.

"We've only got a few hours before sunrise. We'd better hurry," Rose said at last, breaking the spell. The Doctor nodded.

"Hold on tight. The next few minutes will be bumpy," he told her, turning off the screen so it wouldn't take up the energy he'd need to pull the planets. He became a frenzied flurry of pulled levers and pressed buttons.

"Here we go…" he said, both to the TARDIS and to himself. "Allons-y!"


	8. Chapter 8

The Valentines were nervous enough after the skirmish. It was no surprise, then, that the first light shuffling of ground beneath their feet was sufficient to cause panic amongst them. Yahma tried to calm her people down, but to no avail. Some of them descended into the deeper, safer tunnels under the city, screaming out prayers to the Good Goddess to stop this. Others followed. Even a few soldiers broke rank and ran to safety. Yahma couldn't really blame them. She was terrified herself. She took one last glance at the lake, which had a yellow column of swirling light coming out of it at a strange angle. She knew that the bridge was there, of course, but it had always run nearly parallel to the bottom of the lake and thus she'd never really seen it. Up close, shifted out of its ordinary place thanks to the external power of the Bad God, it was beautiful. It almost made her forget her fear as she joined her brethren, feebly attempting to maintain her status by shouting orders at random. Not that anyone needed them. Instinct guided them to safety.

The Unvalentines were much calmer. They had the goddess with them, after all, and she would protect them. They held each other's hands and chanted a prayer over the rumbling noise of the planet slowly moving out of its usual orbit. The pulling sensation was quickly growing faster. It was almost exhilarating.

The Doctor jumped so swiftly from control to control, he looked like a blur. He was pure concentration. He had to get this right. For Rose. And also for the two races he was endangering to get her back, of course.

Rose sat in the middle of the unvalentine crowd, the ground getting too wobbly to properly stand. She trusted the Doctor, but she couldn't help be a little scared. She knew the Doctor's plans were often brilliant, but they almost always bordered at crazy. She only hoped this plan would also be added to the 'successful against all odds' list.

The TARDIS churned and whirred and wheezed and groaned with the strain of the planets' mass. She pulled them together slowly, then faster, and faster, and faster, until…

Somewhere, in the other side of the galaxy, someone heard a crashing sound coming from the sky. Finding nothing, someone simply shrugged.

The TARDIS stopped whirring, settling for a tired background humming as it hovered in the vast, silent expanse above the worlds. Well… the world, now. The Doctor poked his head out; this was an event worthy of seeing it live. The planets' mineral surfaces had cracked in a circle about fifty hundred miles wide. Gold dust and crushed precious stones flew in a cloud around the crash site. The planets, connected by what would someday become a great mountain system, floated side by side in the star-dotted background of space. The bridge of light had snapped back into the cores of the planets like a rubber band, and the Doctor could tell that it would hold the planets together until gravity shaped it back into one big old rock, like it was meant to be. He felt very satisfied with himself. He had managed to put Humpty Dumpty together again. And without blowing up the next five solar systems.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor landed the TARDIS on a low, newly-formed quartz mountain and ventured out. The crushed crystal powder made everything a bit hazy, but as the dust settled, he was met with a marvellous sight. The Valentines on one side, coming out of their hiding tunnels to see what had happened; the Unvalentines on the other side, cheering and hoisting a throne high upon their shoulders, carrying Rose on it. The Unvalentines carried Rose up to the mountain peak and set her down respectfully. The Doctor helped Rose down of the high chair, and hugged her without a moment's hesitation. They remained locked in their embrace for a long time until they remembered the others, who were looking expectantly at them from the surrounding hills.

"Your planet is wholesome once again," the Doctor spoke. "To keep it that way, you will have to learn to share. Living separated didn't work. Living together might, but you've only got one planet now. You'll have to play nice with each other."

Both races looked at each other. Yahma and an old Unvalentine –obviously their leader- clambered up and stared at the other. In the feeble light of sunrise that courageously made its way through the debris, they saw that they weren't quite that different after all. Maybe, just maybe, this would work. They smiled at each other, and placed a hand on the other's shoulder.

"Tonight, the prophecy has been fulfilled," the Unvalentine leader said.

"Our Golden Goddess has reunited what had been separated," Yahma answered, nodding.

"Oh, sure, the Golden Goddess," the Doctor mumbled under his breath. "Because I totally didn't just tow the planets together…"

Rose elbowed him in the ribs.

The celebration that followed was brief, as some buildings had been damaged in the earthquake and had to be repaired. It was massive, though. It was beautiful to see both races socializing and chattering and trying to decide whose name they were going to keep. There was a bit of squabbling, but it was friendly and healthy. Rose and the Doctor were treated as guests of honour; Rose more so than the Doctor, who was given a wide berth of space by both valentines and unvalentines. Being considered the Bad God did have its disadvantages.

At last it was time to go home. Yahma placed a ring of flowers around Rose's neck.

"I am sorry to ever have doubted you, Goddess," she said. "I hope you can forgive my scepticism."

"Forgiven," Rose replied. The Doctor rolled his eyes at her. Maybe he ought to remind her that she wasn't really a deity. Yahma gave the Doctor a tight smile.

"And you… please don't ever come back to our planet," she requested. He sighed half-heartedly.

"Oh, well… it's neither the first nor the last planet I've been banned from."

"Just… remember you've got to share," Rose added as an afterthought. Yahma smiled respectfully.

"We will. We promise," she said. She waved at them until they were out of sight in the TARDIS, and kept waving until the blue box disappeared with a whir that would echo in the history of the planet forever.


	10. Chapter 10

"Okay, speak," Rose ordered, sitting on a more or less clear space on the TARDIS console. The Doctor looked up, trying to feign ignorance, but not being quite able to dispel the faraway look in his gaze.

"What about?" he asked.

"Anything that has kept you this quiet up until now," Rose answered, staring straight into the Doctor's eyes. She saw the barriers there falling with a deep sigh from the man.

"It's nothing really… only… I was…" he began, choking on every other syllable.

"Yes?" she probed, gently placing a hand on his cheek. That did it.

"I was scared, Rose," he admitted silently but quickly, the words blurring together into a rushed whisper that grew louder as his speech progressed. "Terrified. I really didn't know if I was going to be able to bring you back. I was this close to blowing up half a galaxy and bring death to two civilizations because I was so desperately trying to fix my mistake. If I had intervened in the first place, then nothing would've happened. Well, maybe it would've, but you wouldn't have been in danger. No, actually, you would've," he corrected himself, now talking mostly in soliloquy, forgetting for a minute that Rose was there with him. "You will always be in danger by my side, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you. It took a visit and the beginning of a war at a planet where flowers are so rare that a rose is worth ten thousand diamonds for me to realize just how important you are to me. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for putting you in danger…"

He probably had more words brewing on the tip of his tongue, but they were snuffed out by Rose's lips on his. The man went speechless, this time out of shock rather than self-loathing. The gesture was very short, but it spoke volumes. It was a clear order for him to just shut up for a while. And boy was he eager to comply!

Rose drew back, her hand still on his cheek, her gaze fixed on his.

"I don't know if you remember, but I was the one who got unto this bloody ship. Nobody forced me to. And I've had countless opportunities to go home. In fact, I know that if I told you right now to land me in Cardiff and never return for me, you would. But you know what? I haven't and I won't," she said. "Because you're a marvellously brilliant man and I'm glad to be travelling with you."

"I'm an indifferent coward who would just as well let two civilizations kill each other because it wasn't my battle," he mumbled.

"No, you're a man who doesn't want to fight anymore. You're just; that's why you didn't want to take sides. You're kind. You're clever."

"Don't tell me those things, I might end up believing them," he joked.

"You should," she answered honestly. "You are."

They remained motionless for a long moment, letting the weight of their words sink into their bodies and cleanse the weight of their near-catastrophic adventure. The Doctor suddenly sprung back into action, checking his wristwatch with a flick of his hand.

"I can still get you home for a couple of hours of Valentine's Day. What do you say if we go get some coffee? You know, no battles, no prophecies, just you and me."

Rose smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that."


	11. Epilogue

"Doctor, you never did tell me what the real name of the Valentine planet was," Rose mused as they returned to the TARDIS, the taste of coffee and biscuits still fresh in their mouths. The Doctor stopped under a lamppost, watching as their breaths became white in the cold night air. With a smirk, he leaned down and said the name properly.

"Say that again?" Rose said dizzily after he pulled away. "I got a bit distracted there."

The Doctor laughed merrily and took her hand. He said it again, slowly drawing out the syllables and rolling the consonants with his lips. If he was being truthful, he got a little distracted too. His brilliant mind was already planning their next adventure.


End file.
